So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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