Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
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