I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
God, I missed his penis.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
