Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
