I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
