i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
