I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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