john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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