you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
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