Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
