Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Randomize
