i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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