I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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