Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
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