im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Randomize
