i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
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Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
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The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize