i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
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