I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
