it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
