If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Randomize
