HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
