im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
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