I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
