I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize