And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
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