some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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