More tranny stories later!
last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
Fav 3 1048 609 share tweet
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
