i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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