you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Ketchup is God's man juice
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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