Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
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He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
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