I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So vagazzling was a success
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
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