she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
