she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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