yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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