Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
