I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Randomize
