also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
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We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
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Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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