every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Randomize
