Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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