that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
