make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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