But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
