WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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