New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
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