You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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