If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
