This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I will be naked everywhere
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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