apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
