I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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