I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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