Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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