question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
