While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
