I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Don't EVER smell your tampon
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
