I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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