I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
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