What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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