Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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