I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
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