Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
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